omnes tempus et spatium

batreaux:

six is afraid of seven because they are best friends and six has hidden deep romantic feelings for seven but six is worried seven won’t reciprocate and it could jeopardize their friendship

(via nightbecomesme)

allam:

Cabinlock: The TALISKER

I was gone for a week, so have some poorly colored Cabinlock :D

(via nightbecomesme)

doctorholmesofhogwarts:

rainflaaash:

districtnineand-three-quarters:

accio—loki:

valkyriesmith:

solveitwithchocolate:

iou-a-fall-smeagol:

eleanull:

thechimeraresistance:

tltty:

if this eggplant gets less than 5 million notes i’m going to be so upset

Reblogging because eggplant

Fewer than 5 million notes. Fewer. Not less. 

I believe that it is called an  aubergine. 

IN AMERICA WE LET EGGS BE PLANTS BECAUSE FREEDOM

In Britain we let those AUBERGINES live once we heal them with our FREE HEALTH CARE

NOBODY CARES, ENGLAND

at least America came up with their own word and didn’t steal ours

you used the wrong flag France

(via eithermadorboth)

pat6is6livid6:

icantbelieveitsalawblog:

Tattoo of Leviticus 18:22 forbidding homosexuality: $200
Not knowing that Leviticus 19:28 forbids tattoos: Priceless

OH MY FUCKING GOD LOLOL

(via itsanexperimentjohn)

darrenfartspuppies:

REMEMBER WHEN “LET THE MAGIC BEGIN”
REMEMBER WHEN “SOMETHING EVIL HAS RETURNED TO HOGWARTS”
REMEMBER WHEN “SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES”
REMEMBER WHEN “EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TO CHANGE”
REMEMBER WHEN “THE REBELLION BEGINS”
REMEMBER WHEN “DARK SECRETS REVEALED”
REMEMBER WHEN “NOWHERE IS SAFE”
REMEMBER WHEN “IT ALL ENDS HERE”

(via vaginaexercise)

• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
• We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
• The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
• Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

thepudupudu:

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away… but that’s another story / song. Yesterday was, in fact, John Finnemore’s last Priory Engagement. Chess and I had been to one before and knew to expect to laugh until we cried and we were not disappointed. But before the show began, I took it upon myself to hide a lemon behind a stool leg. This almost ended badly as the bar/sound man came over and tried to remove it, mistaking it for one of their lemons. I leapt at once to the defence of my citrusy companion and informed the poor bemused fellow that it was very much my own and that yes, I do indeed make a habit of carrying a lemon about with me (though in a bag rather than a pocket). I was prepared to fight him for it, such was my gallantry (ok, ok, insanity). So well-hidden was the lemon that Mr Finnemore didn’t notice it until he accidentally kicked it out from under the stool midway through the second half. A point to me there in yet another game that never ends (read in Arthur’s creepy ‘suddenly a serial killer’ voice, of course).

The show itself was BRILLIANT (as if it could have been anything else). Someone had bought Mr Finnemore a Martin Crieff t-shirt and he removed a shirt to expose that this was beneath with a quip about how it’s always an actor’s dream to wear an image of another, more successful colleague. Along with new material, there were highlights from previous weeks. Anyone who’s listened to John Finnemore in the Now Show, especially, will know that he is a master of satire and of exposing a a whole manner of vices and follies to ridicule and last night’s show was a master class in this. Few stones seemed unturned and in several sketches the subject under satirical scrutiny was himself. One sketch in particular was a very personal and poignant (though no less hilarious) insight into how difficult the life of a comedian can be: ‘I have my own show!’ he bleated, only to meet the rebuttal ‘on the radio.’

At the end of that particular skit, Finnemore mused that he wasn’t entirely sure whether the audience was laughing too much at his torment. I, having no brain to mouth filter what-so-ever called out that we still loved him and others assured him in turn. Usually I would be hideously embarrassed with myself for having done this, but in this case I’m really not, because I really want him to be aware of how much people appreciate him and his work and how our love of Cabin Pressure is in no way diminished by it being on the radio. It’s for this reason that I set up the Lemons and Landmarks project (and it really is a project, now) and I’m very grateful to everyone who’s participated because I can’t think of a more worthy recipient of all your hard work and dedication to the cause of sticking lemons beside interesting things and taking pictures of them together (snappily put).

And then Chess and I met John Finnemore for the second time and Arthur for the first time. I made the mistake of approaching him without Chess (my personified gagging order) who had toddled off somewhere and, as such, he is now aware that something odd is going on, the nature of which will be revealed in a few months time. I apologised to him, very concisely stating that I have ‘this thing. If I think something I just sort of… say it’ (am I not the most eloquent of them all?) but all is well, because we would have needed to give him some reason for why we desired a picture of him with a lemon and since no specifics have been revealed, the citrus based secret remains safe (phew). Pre-photoshoot, however, he needed to catch up with some friends so Chess and I got to know some other lovely fans, I talked at them about Roger Allam (I’m so sorry, guys! I probably have a mute button somewhere), and I had ‘First Officer’ written across my chest in lipstick (hurrah).

Upon his return, I requested that he pose in the character of Arthur, and so we met Mr Shappey who is, it must be said, TERRIFYING. Above you can witness for yourself the little ball of mania in a Martin shirt and then, in one of the pictures, John Finnemore’s amusement at the realisation of just how insane his character is. Essentially, he was rather like Tigger on a diet of Red Bull and we were all in stitches. As a result of our lemony antics, we missed our train and very nearly missed the last coach home but it was all worth it. If the last few months have taught me anything it’s that no amount of effort is too much, or could ever be enough, to show him just how much I appreciate his work. And so, on that note, it’s back to the lemon spreadsheet with me!

(via blameitonthesilence)

vondell-swain:

vondell-swain:

lowtax:

missyzu:

Fire from a burning building being sucked into a tornado.

woah nigga hold up

wh

get out of there fireman what are you doing

there’s a tornado

I can’t stop laughing at this fireman

he’s just standing there going

“well darn, look at that.

fire tornado.

huh.”

(via thegaiaphageisgrapingyou)

ARTHUR: Oh! Passenger Derby?!
DOUGLAS: We thought so, yes.
ARTHUR: Great! Can I do the commentary?
DOUGLAS: If you’d be so kind.

(via imusingupallmyinternet)

• mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
• me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
• mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
• me:
• mom:
• me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
• me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
• me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
• mom:
• me:
• mom: this isn't normal